I'm trying to get into some good habits. I'm also trying to keep my bad habits at bay.

There seems to be so much noise, yet nothing of importance is being said. I realized I'm terrified of nearly everything that will help me out of this slump I'm in. I want to feel better, but it doesn't seem like wanting is good enough. Trying is what matters. Trying also happens to be the hardest part. So, here I am. Trying. Trying not to miss the past, and things lost. Trying not to keep looking down. Trying to put my pieces back together. I wish I were better at jigsaw puzzles.

Maybe this is all there is? Maybe it will all get better. Maybe if it does get better it will all just crash again. I feel like a burn victim in a cold wood. Terrified of the flames, because I know how much they can hurt, yet I need them to help keep me warm and able. Everything seems way too confusing. My head has been spinning in circles looking for a way out.

I'll get there eventually. Right?

Heh.